Things I am learning...

We have sat through 6 of the 10 classes required to become certified foster parents. They started off rather slow and have become more and more insightful and helpful in understanding the needs of the children in the system and how to deal with those children in the most effective manner. At times, the classes have been downright sad and disturbing; talking about giving back children to their birth family that have been with you for years, or talking about sexual abuse and protecting your own biological children. This is what I know now:

~ This (being a foster parent) will likely be the hardest thing we ever do.

~ It will require much time, energy and fortitude to be successful.

~ Foster children deserve so much more than the life they have been dealt thus far.

~ We are ABSOLUTELY meant to do this! Everything in me tells me that this is right time and the right thing.

After a great meeting with our case worker a week ago, we learned that we may be certified earlier than we originally thought. Perhaps as early as December, but definitely by January. Its even possible that we could have children in our home by Christmas.

Is it springtime?

It almost feels like it should be spring. You know, a time of new beginnings. Monday we will begin our foster care training classes. I could not be happier or more excited about the path that God has led us down. Did I ever expect in a million years to be doing foster care? I thought we would only walk that path for the necessary few months in order to foster "our kids" until their adoption was legal. However, when God does a huge work on your heart and the heart of your husband, simultaneously whispering to you both that this is the path He would like you to walk...you don't argue. You scratch your head and wonder at the new way of thinking. You marvel at it, but then you just revel in the peace that comes with knowing God's will for your life and doing it.

Today, I'm busy organizing and cleaning. So far I have yet to make it out of the living room, but I've dusted the ceiling (trust me, it really needed it), made a few spiders homeless, and just gave the room a very necessary cleaning. I'm not done yet. I couldn't help but think of the symbolism. Out with the old, in with the new. Get rid of the stuff that slows you down, the old stuff, the broken. Make way for the functional and fresh. Make way for a different type of "broken". Children. Broken children who are starving for love and affection. Shake off what slows you down, so that you can do what you need to do. Literally and figuratively.

I am on the edge of major change in my life. But its a wonderful, God breathed change. I'm sure there will be hurts and tears along the way, but I also know that God does not call us to do anything that He does not equip us to do. God has poured into my life so many blessings, and I think its the time that he is placing a demand on those blessings. To whom much has been given, much is required...

Blessings

You know its been a long time since you last blogged when you have to try over and over to remember your own blog address...no kidding! I'm here, and alive and doing great. Time slips through my hands faster than you can imagine and it boggles my mind. I must also admit that Facebook is just way too easy to get addicted to. There is a lot more instantaneous gratification available there, also. You post your status update, and within minutes people have commented. It can spoil you.

But, I have also felt like this blog has been neglected as well. Not that there are many readers...all 5 of you, perhaps? And yet, this serves as a journal of sorts. I look back and remember when I first started blogging while pregnant with our third child. Life has changed a lot in the last 17 months since she was born. That brings me to the title of my post.

I was sitting on my couch a minute ago. Just sitting and thinking about how blessed I am. I had just caught up reading several blogs I follow. Blogs written by people who have sick children. One blogger just lost her daughter to cancer. She was just a baby...less than a year. The heartbreaking twist to this story is that she is the second child this family has lost to cancer. I sit here and think about my super healthy children. My warm home. My full refrigerator. My clean clothes. My bed. My faithful husband. My working vehicle. My hot water. The children (ours and others) who are filling up our yard and living room, playing together so nicely. Does it mean I am without "troubles"? No. But, my troubles are so small in comparison to many. And so small to my BIG GOD. I'm blessed beyond measure.

Awww....

Yesterday, Gracyn sneezed and "sprayed" Noah a bit as he was sitting next to her. Noah turned to me and said, rather indignantly, "Mama, Gracie just blessed all over me!!"
Tee hee...too cute!

A journey begins...

See these papers? They will dramatically change our life as we currently know it. What are these papers, and how can they change your life so dramatically, you ask? I'm glad you asked. These are applications for us to adopt a child or children from the foster care system. Yes, we have finally decided to get the ball rolling and persue a lifelong dream for both of us.

I remember watching 20/20 on Friday nights with my parents while a young teen. At that time, reporters were uncovering the atrocities of Romanian orphanages. I remember 6 year old children, with atrophied muscles and hollow eyes laying in cribs for months on end, with little attention or affection shown to them. Six year old children, the weight of my 13 month old, who could not walk, simply because nobody had taken the time to show them or allow them out of their "cageg". I've always had a soft heart for the "underdog" and children. I've always loved the idea of adoption, perhaps because I grew up in such an amazing family, full of love, affection and affirmation. I longed for all children to experience that. When Matt and I first started dating, one of the major questions I had for him was a potential "deal breaker"...how did he feel about adoption? He was very much in favor of it and had wanted to adopt as an adult for a while. It was even greater confirmation that he was the guy for me! Fast forward about 3 years. We are happily married, but have not yet chosen to start our family. We attend a meeting through the county for potential foster parents and adoptive parents. We love it. We are unsure of the timing, but glad for the information, as it confirms what we have felt for years. A year later we are pregnant with Rylee, our oldest, and choose to put our adoption plans on hold until we feel the timing is just right. About 3 years later, Noah joins us. And almost 3 years after that, we welcome Gracyn, now 13 months.

When Noah was quite young, I was ready to begin the process of adoption, but Matt thought it might be best to finish our biological family first, then adopt. I definitely wanted him to be completely on board when the time came, so I waited it out. About a year or two ago I began praying that if my timing was off and we were supposed to wait, that God would change my heart. I also prayed that if we were to start the adoption process now, that God would change Matt's heart. Last Friday evening, while working on his sermon to be preached on Sunday, Matt turned toward me and said, "I'm ready to adopt now." Just like that. I think my mouth hung open for a bit before I said, "What?" He repeated himself and I asked, "What changed? Where did this come from?", to which he replied, "It just breaks my heart to wait any longer." Oh my goodness, here we go!

This past Sunday we shared with our family our intentions. They were full of questions and excitement. Monday morning I called the county. It was initially a bit discouraging to hear that almost all the children currently legally free for adoption are quite older with severe emotional, physical or mental issues. We were strongly encouraged to do foster care and find our child through that avenue. While I have the utmost of respect for foster parents, I'm not convinced that its a road God has called us to right now. We are considering possibly doing short term "respite" or "vacation" care. We'll see. However, we did learn something. Just prior to the county going before a judge to request that parental rights for a child be revoked, that child has to be moved into a foster home with the intention of adoption, if their current home will not be adopting them. Then, the jusge can terminate their parental rights, making them legally free for adoption. Its necessary for us to be foster care certified first, and the process is initially the same whether we choose to do foster care, adopt, or both. So, yesterday we got these papers in the mail. They are 99% filled out, and will be notarized tonight. Tomorrow they are mailed back to the county and we should receive a call to meet with a case worker in about 2 or 3 weeks.

We will take MAP classes (Foster care training classes) for 10 weeks, while working on our home study. We will be interviewed, have our home examined, undergo medical exams, be fingerprinted, and fill out mountains of paperwork. About 6 to 8 months from now our home study will be complete, at which time we just wait to be matched. Its quite possible that within the next 12 months we will meet our future children.

We are so very excited to begin this journey. Our children share our excitement and have already began praying for their new brother or sister. Ideally, Matt and I would love to adopt a sibling group of two children, with Rylee remaining the oldest at 7 years of age. Likely, the child or children will not be a baby, but an older (up to age 7) child. If you think of us, pray that God brings us the perfect children and equips us to care for them and that we don't run into any major snags in the meantime. They say a long journey begins with a single step. These papers represent that first single step, and we could not be more excited!

A picture is worth a thousand words....

Too long...

Yep, its been too long. Of course I have been busy, but I also have felt uninspired to write. Plus, I felt the need to share things chronologically, and frankly, that just felt overwhelming. Perhaps Facebook is to blame for part of my laziness concerning blogging. I love the instantaneousness (is that a word?) of Facebook. I have a few thoughts rolling around my head...

First off, due to a persistent ear infection in Gracyn, followed by 3 weeks of various antibiotics, we have Thrush. We are treating it with Gentian Violet (Thanks, Carole, for the recommendation). Gentian Violet is BRIGHT PURPLE and so Gracie looks like she has been sucking on a purple ice pop for a week. Lets just say it leaves a stain on some *ahem* "interesting" places on me as well. But, it is working, and that is what is important. Can I just say I love "natural" and "homeopathic" remedies?

On top of the thrush, I have a cold...blah...who likes being sick? Not me, and especially not in warm weather while my lilacs are in full bloom.

I'm looking forward to our vegetable garden this year. Each year I get a bit better at keeping up with it. This year I'm going to search for Heirloom plants, so their seeds can be kept to grow future gardens. I'm also going to try my hand at growing some lettuces. I'm thinking spinach and buttercrunch?

We will be welcoming a bunch of chicks onto the property. We have raised chickens for our own fresh eggs for about 6 years. We are down to just one of the original hens. Its time to bring on some fresh cuties. This year we will be buying day old "Red Star" chicks. Sidenote....I was originally going to order these through Murray McMurray Hatcheries, however, due to EVERYONE and their brother raising chickens this year, there was over a 2 month wait for their chicks. I tried a different hatchery with a 6 week wait. I think I'm going to buy local off of craigslist. There is a guy about 50 minutes away with 40 Red Star eggs in the incubator. Maybe we'll clean him out of his pullets. The price was also better than buying via a hatchery and shipping them.

I'm reading an amazing book about children's health and nutrition by Dr. Sears. Its called, The Healthiest Kid in the Neighborhood. It talks about cutting out certain fats, food dyes and high fructose corn syrup. Its amazing where you find HFCS...bread, ketchup, yogurt, etc. I'd like to significantly reduce, if not completely cut out HFCS from our diet, or at least only consume it on special occasions. I'm learning about the hormones in milk and how some people suspect it leads to early puberty and breast development in some girls. I have decided for now to not introduce any milk to Gracyn, other than my own breast milk. I figure, god designed my milk to be best for her, why would I wean her from my milk, only to introduce cows milk, which really was designed for calfs? When the time does come to introduce her to cows milk, I'll probably start her on hormone free or organic milk, although I'm completely balking at the prices...does anyone know where to obtain good quality, hormone free milk without paying $6 a gallon. We go through LOTS of milk around here!! I don't really want to have to get a part time job just to pay for milk, LOL!

On that note, if anyone has any healthy recipes they would like to share, I'm all ears...or eyes, if you choose to email it : ) This week I'll be making hummus for the first time, ever. I also made cranberry cous-cous last night for dinner. I've made cous-cous numerous times before, just never added cranberries. I also bought some flaxseed to start adding to foods. Anyone use flaxseed? Beuler? Beuler? Just kidding...anyone recognize that movie line? (Not that its a hard one...)